Cannot get used to it!
It is no surprise what people have become… how they have become. Seldom when you find decency today amongst people in societies… yet for me it is still so difficult to get used to. Even if it is something wrong that I see every day, I still cannot understand why it happens and cannot help but get bothered by it. I wish I can change it but some things are not so easy to change are they. The least I do is pray for change.
My question is why? Why is it always so frustrating for me when someone lies or betrays or name it. Why do I get heart aches? Why can’t I just get along with my day and feel alright… Well I do really feel thankful to Allah for not being like those people who willingly lie or do wrong consistently and with no shame. But it is so painful and difficult to have to deal with some people on a daily basis knowing that they are so filled with trash in their minds and hearts.
This applies to many people, but not all I have to deal with…
There are certain people in our society whom have such traits in excess and with no limits. Housekeepers for instance… My GOD! I cannot believe the frequency of their lies… No matter how well you treat them and try to set a good example to them, they still do it lie and do weird things. Worst of all, they are never grateful for any thing you do for them. Even the semi educated ones do it too (maybe occasionally, but they do). What really gets to me is some of them pray!!! Why do they bother? Or is it just a daily exercise or an obligation they are burdening themselves with just to supposedly give a good impression about themselves???
I tell myself, it is probably the way they have been brought up… It has been corrupted for generations. Problem is no one is taking the trouble to try to adopt those people and try to teach them morals and ethics of the lovely religion they are following. I believe that one of the most important factors contributing to the corruption amongst that stratum of the community is the negligence of the influential, educated and rich or well off people in the society. We must not forget those people, we must not ignore their presence in our society, we must treat them with respect and try to teach them what they do not know with patience and care.
Ok… they are what they are… but this so happens also amongst high class people, amongst educated people who supposedly know the value of principles and ethics.. They cheat, they lie, and they do not consider anything but the monetary unit that shall go into their bank accounts or the power they shall gain.
A friend of mine has a quote next to her msn nickname saying: Most people are only alive because it’s unfortunately illegal to shoot them!! Some people are just inhumane! They are so wicked it shocks me.
I personally wonder how some people live the way they do… Human nature is absurd… strange and mysterious… What makes people the way they are. There are so many factors that combine form a person’s characteristics. It is very complicated. Some people are more affected with badness rather than goodness.
What is it that makes it that way or the other? I guess I will die not knowing why, because it is truly a mystery… or is it choice???
Well? Is it mystery or choice that makes people either bad or good? Kind or wicked? DO we choose to be good or bad? I feel it is up to us to choose, but are we all on the same level of sanity to choose? To direct and redirect ourselves??? Are we all on the same level of strength of character? Is there such a thing as weakness that may lead someone totally astray or that will lead them to severe depression? Or is it that a person chooses to be weak?
I’d like it if some of you would share your opinion, maybe jot in an incident from your own life as an example? I want us to all try to share our experiences, maybe they will help others.
My question is why? Why is it always so frustrating for me when someone lies or betrays or name it. Why do I get heart aches? Why can’t I just get along with my day and feel alright… Well I do really feel thankful to Allah for not being like those people who willingly lie or do wrong consistently and with no shame. But it is so painful and difficult to have to deal with some people on a daily basis knowing that they are so filled with trash in their minds and hearts.
This applies to many people, but not all I have to deal with…
There are certain people in our society whom have such traits in excess and with no limits. Housekeepers for instance… My GOD! I cannot believe the frequency of their lies… No matter how well you treat them and try to set a good example to them, they still do it lie and do weird things. Worst of all, they are never grateful for any thing you do for them. Even the semi educated ones do it too (maybe occasionally, but they do). What really gets to me is some of them pray!!! Why do they bother? Or is it just a daily exercise or an obligation they are burdening themselves with just to supposedly give a good impression about themselves???
I tell myself, it is probably the way they have been brought up… It has been corrupted for generations. Problem is no one is taking the trouble to try to adopt those people and try to teach them morals and ethics of the lovely religion they are following. I believe that one of the most important factors contributing to the corruption amongst that stratum of the community is the negligence of the influential, educated and rich or well off people in the society. We must not forget those people, we must not ignore their presence in our society, we must treat them with respect and try to teach them what they do not know with patience and care.
Ok… they are what they are… but this so happens also amongst high class people, amongst educated people who supposedly know the value of principles and ethics.. They cheat, they lie, and they do not consider anything but the monetary unit that shall go into their bank accounts or the power they shall gain.
A friend of mine has a quote next to her msn nickname saying: Most people are only alive because it’s unfortunately illegal to shoot them!! Some people are just inhumane! They are so wicked it shocks me.
I personally wonder how some people live the way they do… Human nature is absurd… strange and mysterious… What makes people the way they are. There are so many factors that combine form a person’s characteristics. It is very complicated. Some people are more affected with badness rather than goodness.
What is it that makes it that way or the other? I guess I will die not knowing why, because it is truly a mystery… or is it choice???
Well? Is it mystery or choice that makes people either bad or good? Kind or wicked? DO we choose to be good or bad? I feel it is up to us to choose, but are we all on the same level of sanity to choose? To direct and redirect ourselves??? Are we all on the same level of strength of character? Is there such a thing as weakness that may lead someone totally astray or that will lead them to severe depression? Or is it that a person chooses to be weak?
I’d like it if some of you would share your opinion, maybe jot in an incident from your own life as an example? I want us to all try to share our experiences, maybe they will help others.
posted by Dalulla at 12:04 AM
9 Comments:
"It is very complicated. Some people are more affected with badness rather than goodness.
What is it that makes it that way or the other? I guess I will die not knowing why, because it is truly a mystery… or is it choice???
"
definitely a choice! Being good is difficult, it's the hard way. Lying is easier than facing reality, as well as being ungrateful so that they'd take more... whichever bad trait you see is much easier than the good one. That's why the prophet PBUH told us: "The Hell fire has been designed with all that's desireful. and the Jannah (Paradise) has been designed with all what is hateful to the human nature. " حفت النار بالشهوات وحفت الجنة بالمكاره
Being good needs "Jihad of the Nafs" (Resisting your own self & fighting it). Teaching yourself not to envy, not to be mean, not to get angry... it's a huge list of "not to's".
I feel your frustration... it has nothing to do with how you "treat" people to expect from them good in return, but rather about what their "inside" is made of, and that;s what you'll get in return.
Finally, The day when you see things as those and brush past them indifferently only means that you're accepting them and maybe like them. so refusing these traits and getting heart aches reflects how good your heart is that it can't even stand such a flawed environment.
Have a nice Friday. Salam
dalulla.... da kalam keteer awy....need to discuss over a cup of coffee!
bismillah
assalamu alaikum
What really gets to me is some of them pray!!! Why do they bother? Or is it just a daily exercise or an obligation they are burdening themselves with just to supposedly give a good impression about themselves???
walaah I was asking myself that very same question just a few minutes ago. i was with my brother and his wife (neither of them pray) and the topic of ramadaan coming soon came up. his wife was saying how hard it will be for her and I just wanted to tell them, "why are you going to fast? you don't even pray, why the hell would you want to fast? is it some tradition or because the people around you are fasting? because if it is then don't bother starve yourself for nothing since you wont be getting any reward for it inshallah." but then i thought i'll bite my tongue and remain on good terms. now that I'm talking to you about it, i'm actually wondering if it was the right thing to do. maybe I should have said what i think however harsh since it is the truth. alhamdullilah anyway.
Salaam, liked what you posted( I blogged about this)If one fears Allah he wouldn't do all these things.Inshallah Allah help them.
Wish you well
Jannah,
I also believe it is choice, but what makes that choice so difficult?
We all flaw and do mistakes, but at least the conscience should have its effect sooner or later, and some things like good treatment versus bad also should have some impact, but sometimes that is not the case. I guess it is the upbringing, but again you see that is the point I am trying to emphasize here.
When I for instance have someone like a maid and she does something wrong, I keep trying to teach her with leniance bearing in mind the society and type of family she comes from. I tell myself I really want to help this person become a better person with the instrument of good treatment, patience and forgivness. But many a times it does not work. One person can show you how affected she is and how regretful she feels, how so good she wants to be, and how so much she appreciates the way you are handling her. Still the same mistake can be repeated and after such a short period of time.
I still have the patience to repeat step one and two again. It can go on for some time but the problem increases and thereby leading to her leaving somehow. What is really funny is after some time, she wants to come back claiming she tried working elsewhere but was not happy or comfortable. Oh LORD I say to myself, why??? Why did you not consider what you had? Why did you not cease the opportunities you were given to prove yourself worthy of trust… Once I loose trust it is difficult to bring it back especially that many things have contributed in breaking that trust.. It’s like being totally used up, consumed to the fullest.
I know what is it to sin, but there is one thing I also know, sin can be towards the self, and it can be towards others and the self. The later I have not experienced much. I sinned towards myself more than others and al hamd Lillah I usually have the courage to try to mend it and try to seek the person's pardon or forgivness (nothing wrong with that).
I always had/have the guilty conscience working well thank GOD. But I cannot understand how it can be so easy to sin towards others, i.e. to harm others, and not only that, but to argue about it, and that is what really drives me up the wall. Many people do that not only the lower class of the society, or the ones whom did not receive proper up bringing.
This is what I meant by mystery … Is it a matter of strength of character? Or what is it that makes someone WANT to refuse badness and evil of the self and that coming from the whispers of Satan? Or maybe it is how much you know about Allah, His forgivness, His mercy, His anger, His wrath? How, people take that information in and direct in their hearts and minds and thereby translate them into actions of daily life is maybe the key, or is it the key? I believe it is that plus how much you love Allah and to what extent you are clinging to this world. Wow… knowing all that and I am still not such a good Practicing Moslem… No matter what I do I never feel I am good enough and I know it. I know I am trying, but I cannot say I am good enough. But I can dare say I want to be and That is what keeps me personally going and believing that maybe someday I will be alright with the mercy and kindness of Allah. He knows us best.
Doshar,
yala I am waiting for you to come over for a cup of tea or coffee :-)
WA3ALIKOM AL SALAM
Abdul Rahman,
That is a different issue, the nos7 or advise in a leniant manner is the key, patience as well and when all fails, that is that you have tried. Try again later, or change the approach. Then if all fails start having a more serious tone and tell them of the consequences. At the beginning I suggest u use “targheeb” (encouragement), touch the heart part… Touch their seed of love of Allah, be the water that will nourish it. It is in your brother’s heart and his wife’s insha’Allah.
I think it is good you did not say anything on the spot, sometimes it is better not to speak at once, but to take time to organize your thoughts and the way in which you want to lay out these thoughts to someone.
Abdel Rahman, you should talk to your brother once and twice, or try to put it into actions, tell him u want to pray with him Jama3a and maybe speak to him gradually in the mosque.. Try to create the atmosphere, maybe take someone from your friends whom is good with information and whom your brother feels comfort with.
Do try, but do not be aggressive لو كنت غليظا فظ القلب لانفضوا من حولك...... وأدعوا إلى ربك بالحكمة والموعظة الحسنة...
Advise especially in religion must be handled with extreme caution. We want to pull people not push them away and that is precisely what Allah and His prophet taught us to do. So we should follow their ways. Lenience, persuasion and patience are the keys.
(for those who cannot read the arabic) The Arabic parts translate or mean: If your were harsh and hard hearted they (the people) would flee from you (i.e. will not listen)
And call for the way of God in wisdom and good advise…
Allahoma ij3alna miman yakoulana al kawala waya3malouna bih… (I pray I (we) be amongst who say well and do with what we say and call for … Ameen
Zingtrial,
Good to see you here, I visited your blog, good stuff there, very heartfelt too.
I do not like the concept of fear only, I usually like mixing it with love, yes fear should be there, fear for making He whom you should love most angry and thereby gaining his punishment instead of reward. After all there is a master for every thing...
some people do not and will not admit to that, but the nature of life is so whether they like it or not.
I love Allah there for i want to meet His standards of goodness. And His standard of goodness as I see it is always trying. He is the all forgiving, He created us and knows our nature to err. All He asks us to is to repent and to do our best not to keep insisting arrogantly on our mistakes and sins.
WE all really need to encourage one another for Love, for love is the real drive to goodness.
Dallula,
Just wanted to check if you're fine and your pregnancy is going on well ???
Coz you've been away for a bit of a while now :) Hope everything's okay inshAllah
Jannah,
Sweetheart, thank you for your kind concern.. True i have not come in for some time, and unable to even continue a post i begin writing.
I am very exhausted. Maid left again, they never stay, they are never loyal. This last time and the one before were difficult for me and in each i cried, only this time i cried real hard and stayed for a couple of days feeling disoriented and feeling very very betrayed.
Don't know how to treat these pple any more. And I cannot and will not treat them as maids... We usually treat them with respect. They are humans after all, and their circumstances are what led them to have to do such a job, so I cannot make it any harder by treating them bad.. But does it make a difference???? NO.
Unfortunately not, however, I will not change my ways. I cannot.
Physically I am in pain from my back all the time now. I guess the weight is the major contributor to this. It will all pass insha'Allah.
My mood has been ok for the past two days, ups and downs, but i try not to give in to the downs as best as possible. Things pass and the Lord does not give us tests we cannot pass.. Insha'Allah all will be alright I tell myself, and the days do pass:-)
Al hamd Lillah for everything :-)
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