Friday, September 29, 2006

Sixth of Ramadan.... 32 years old today!

I am quite happy tonigh… I was born on the 12th of Ramadan during the year 1974, can’t recall which hijri… This year my birthday comes again on a Ramadan day as well.
Today, the sixth of Ramadan, I am a 32 year old mother for a lovely boy, and waiting for the second to come safely. I am praying Allah would extend my life to care for them till they are safe and secure to be on their own as good and proper loving, giving and decent Moslems.
Please pray for my father, he is not in the best of conditions these days (Me worried, but Allah is merciful insha'Alah). His moral is really down, somethings are upsetting him and I am really trying to help comforting him the best way i know possible, but his moral is still not at its best, nor is his health or strength.

Please pray for a safe delivery for me (supposed to be on the 10th or 11th of November isa)
Please pray that Allah gives me the strength to carry on with my fasting till the end of this holy month
Pray for my son to be a good Moslem
Pray for my coming son to be safe and sound and to also be a good Moslem.
Please pray I be forgiven for any sins i know of and don't know of
Please pray Allah accepts what little deeds I am able to do at this time of my life (trust me they are few)
Pray for the Ummah to unite in peace and harmony, and for mankind to establish peace amongst them.
Last but not least, I pray for you all a Ramadan kareem and for your fasting and deeds to be accepted by Allah, for you all to feel peace, happiness and to be blessed by Allah … Ameen Ameen Ameen.

11 Comments:

Blogger Living Away said...

Congratulations on your birthday in such special day and for your pregnancy. Sorry I didn’t congratulate you before.
I do wish you that everything happens in the smoothest way possible and everything will be just fine!

Ramadan Mubarak dear!

3:46 AM, September 29, 2006  
Blogger free soul said...

Happy birthday :)

its my birthday too as I was born the same day but few years earlier :)

2:00 PM, September 29, 2006  
Blogger Dalulla said...

Leandra,
Thank you for your wishes... May all your days be filled with light and blessings too.

Free Soul,
Happy birthday to you too! Thank you.

1:06 AM, October 01, 2006  
Blogger Eman M said...

Kol sana w enti taieba
Ya benti dah ana 2olt enk weldeti khalas ;) Yalla shedi 7elk, rabna m3aki
we wanna a beautiful baby like Omar.
Settled on Hamza?

1:09 AM, October 01, 2006  
Blogger Dalulla said...

Eman,
ahlan ahlan :-) long time no see ya bent!

I feel it has been too long bardo... waiting ya Eimo waiting... I am scheduled for the 10th or 11th of Nov... Not settled yet... pray for me please.. I love the name Hamza but I never make fixed decisions before the baby is born, it is Omar who has his mind and heart fixed to the name.

Ulysse and I will let him name the child insha'Allah. I do have a feeling it will be Hamza though...or maybe Bilal :-)

4:13 PM, October 02, 2006  
Blogger Jannah said...

your prayers made me shiver...

Allah is the most merciful and able inshAllah to answer every prayer you wrote.

all I can say is Allahomma AMEEEEEEEEN ekremha w erfa3ha 3andak daragat w orzo2ha 3amal sale7 heya w zog-ha w awladha ya rab w eg3al weladha sabab le nasret eldeen. 2oly ameen 7abebty w enty 3andek YAKEEN bel egaba.

and I almost forget... HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY Dallula :):):)

5:36 PM, October 03, 2006  
Blogger Dalulla said...

Jannah,
You will not believe this.. reading your comment brought tears to my eyes... Jazaky Allaho Khayran. I am living in fear that I may not be able to fulfill this goal... Believe me, I shiver just to think that my son would not be a good moslem, or that he may not understand what the true essence of our lovely religion is all about regardless of my efforts.. Or that maybe God destines my life to end soon... Wallahi I am not a pesimist, but you cannot imagine how hard i try in every thing. I've been struggling for many many years now, in so many different directions trying so hard not to let anything break me, not even my previous sins, ones that i know of or ones i do not because I know Allah is the all forgiving the all knower of our hearts, and If there is one thing I know and am really sure of is my heart. I do not mean to sound arrogant or anything, but I know I have a good heart because I always want GOOD and GOODNESS. I never mean badness in any sense and when i err, I am not the type to insist or argue senslessly about it.

I want so much for my son and for the one to come.. I pray they be of good influence as Moslems... Zeinet Shabab el Ummah, Shabab Allah and His prophet would be happy with.

I cannot lie, I am afraid, very much afraid. and my worst fears is to die and not fulfill what I want for them... Allah will be watching over them, but still the idea of leaving them to be brought up by anyone but myself scares me to death. I want so many things for them, but Allah knows best and knows what is in my heart and mind.. I keep telling myself to hold on to that belief. I must strengthen it, because many a times I feel I will die young, or that maybe i will be tested in one of my children or in Omar. ALL kheir.

these days like many before are hard on my soul and heart.. I am going through lots of mental and physical stress.. I need prayers so much. Doshar is in Makkah, I asked her for extra prayers while facing the beloved Kaaba.

I also feel very guilty. This Ramadan I am very inactive … Have no energy to do anything at all. Just trying to fulfill my fasting till the end of the month and to be at my best behaviour and that is about it.. May Allah forgive me.

I have some family problems (as usual) but I am beginning to not be able to take it any more. My parents have always been a source of trouble for me, still are. I am trying to be at my best behaviour always for the sake of berr el waleidein, but it is not easy at all. Saying what is right gets me in lots of trouble most of the time.

Ahhhhhhhh… Ya rabbb Aghethni… begad Allahoma aghethny and correct me if I am wrong in any thing after all, all I pray for is reda Allah.

PLEASE PLEASE any of you reading this pray for me to be a good Moslem in all senses possible… I fear I may leave this life soon for some reason or the other… I do not know why, but I get that feeling a lot lately.. All I want is your prayers that If I do, that Allah may accept whatever little good I have done in my life, and to protect Omar and the coming baby if life is destined for him insha’Allah.

Ameen


ah sorry thank you for your warm birthday wishes 7abebty... Jazaky Alllaho khayran

12:42 AM, October 04, 2006  
Blogger Jannah said...

Dearest Dallula,

7abebty I wanted to tell you a hadith I heard from mohamad hussein ya3koub on T.V.

kan bema ma3nah: enna al ragol la yanam wa yas7a w ya3eesh 3am ba3d 3am wa kad koteb mn al amwat fi ajal faat.

ya3ny this man above has lived years and years yet his time of death has passed. Allah is the Almighty, the One and only who can change anything bad to good with just a bit of patience and duaa from you...Please ya Dallula, don't listen to those thoughts of urs, enty a3sabek mesh na2sa, you need happy positive thoughts. If those thoughts come to you often, say loudly: allahoma atena feldonya 7asana wa fel akhera 7asan wa kena 3azab alnar... w hab lana mn azwagena w zorayatena korat a3yon wag3alna lel motakeen imama...etc. Letting your ears hear those duaa will brush the thoughts away.

You know, a few days ago when I was saying ameeen behing the imam in taraweeh, there was this thought persisting that Allah will not answer my prayers! No matter how long I say Ameen, it didn't go away until I did this: I said, WALLAHY EL 3AZEEM ya NAFSY en rabena hayestageeb do3a2y kollo! Surprisingly, the strength I faced myself with shut up such thoughts till now 7amdellah.

Allahoma nagena men shoroor anfosana wa e7meena mn khawaterna, wa la tag3al hamena ella fi redaak.

Allah yenazel 3aleky elkher kal matar w yorozo2ek men hayth la ta7taseby. mesh nasyeenek men do3a2na sister,

wassalam

2:31 AM, October 05, 2006  
Blogger Dalulla said...

Jannah,
Jazaky ALlaho Khayran sister... Begad thank you so much for all the support. Today has been one of the harshest days since some time now.

I am going through lots of pain these days, problems with my mother. Long long story. Worst of all we are in Ramadan.. It is not the time at all for these things. this month is supposed to be for all sorts of goodness and good deeds. Not for problems.

These past two days I have not been feeling well at all. Had trouble breathing and have trouble still. Veru agitated and mother is escelating the issues in a very strange matter. Allaho Al musta3aan... Ina Lillahi wa inna ilayhi Raje3oun.. Allahoma ifta7 bayny wa bayna kawmy bel Hak...

It is a very long story, and some things are repeating themselves again.. Very very very painful for me. And what bothers me most is i am not being affected alone, poor little thing inside me is too. But I am praying that God protects him from my weaknesses. The agitation, and the tears and the loss of breath.. God protect us isa.

Jannah. I am in pain. BUT.. Al Hamd Lillah, God is my witness, I did not do anything wrong, may God forgive us all.

10:09 PM, October 05, 2006  
Blogger Jane said...

Happy Belated birthday! I am sorry I missed it. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I know your delivery will go well. Blessings to you.

3:55 AM, October 10, 2006  
Blogger Dalulla said...

Jane,
Thank you dear and insha'Allah yes I am optimisitic things will go well with Allah's mercy and kindness.. :-)

10:49 PM, October 10, 2006  

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