One Big Mistake!

I was watching Oprah's program a couple of days ago. I really love this woman and truly have so much respect for the person she is, for what she does for others, for how she manages to do and say things to bring happiness to those around her, most of all, for her honesty and straightforwardness. She is doing something great for the American society and for others as well. She is calling out for the good in people; she is trying to wake it up somehow, and of course not only that, she is a woman of action.

Each society has its bad side and good side. All our countries are filled with miscellaneous issues. Some bad, some good, some embarrassing, some ugly and so forth.. We all need reforms. We all need corrections.

What I really like about Oprah is she's always trying to bring out the ugly bits and pieces in the American society, but I'm sure not with an intension to make her own people look bad.. she does so with the will and intent of bettering the ugly and wrong.

I am an Arab/Moslem and that is the way I feel. I do not look at the negative issues she brings out and feel disrespect towards the American society as a whole. According to what I have learned growing up form my religion It is not right to generalize or judge in a general or negative sense and it is not easy to do so either (long issue). What I see and hear does make me real sad though (applies to my own country and people, not just Americans or others).

I've always liked the American way of living, the system, and many other issues, but bearing in mind it is "not perfect" and nor is any other society.

For many Arabs, and I think amongst many other citizens of many other countries America was always "The best", a "flawless system" of freedom and unquestionable democracy. This is and was not true. I do not mean to be offensive here, but what I mean is what I wrote above. No one and no where is flawless or with no negative aspects. But I must say Bush made a real big mess out of America's reputation! The United States was and is much better off without him.

Now come to the main point. What I wanted to speak about was something Oprah said as she interviewed a couple who decided to bring a stripper for their son on his sixteenth birthday party! My mouth and eyes were flung widely open almost all through the show… And I am not exaggerating!

Through out most of the talk show (since there was another person on the show earlier, a former porn star who was warning young women from falling in her mistake), Oprah said (not word for word, but I believe what I write will serve the same meaning): "What is strange is that nudity is not strange anymore in our society. Women are not valued.. They are treated in a derogatory fashion as if they were a mere object with no value"….

It is not just in the United States but in many other countries, but I "think" that America takes top of the list on that one… the porn business has become a very large industry.

Arabs and Moslems are always accused of not giving women their rights. Our societies are governed with religion which does give a woman respect and rights, at the end of the day, it does protect women (long story but we can discuss how in the comments). I know what I spoke of about rights and respect it is not always applied, but the problems our women face are not as bad as the ones women abroad do, whether in America, Europe or the Far East or else where Islam is not part of the judicial system as a whole since only parts of the Shariah apply. More over the types of problems are not in extreme as experienced elsewhere.

The lack of fulfillment of those rights and all due respect is precisely is the problem. If Islamic Law were to properly be implemented women would not have suffered the way they did or still do to an extent. Most of the Arab countries are not totally governed by the Islamic Law. But when it was applicable women's rights were acquired to the fullest (that is at the time when Prophet Muhammed lived and after him the time of the four caliphs Abu Bakr, Omar Ibn Al Khattab, Othman Ibn Affan and Ali Ibn Abi Talib Radya Allaho 3anhoum wa2ardahom May Allah bless them). I intend to post something more explanatory about women in Islam and before soon InSha'Allah – God willing.

Now, Oprah is not an Arab, nor is she Moslem. But she believes in God. I realized on several occasions she stressed on that throughout many of her talk shows, but this time, in that specific talk show, one of her guests addressing the father of the boy (subject of the second part of the show) asking him: where was that inner whispering sound, or God or conscience or name it what ever u want to name it," so Oprah said, I call that "GOD"…

I do agree with Oprah, God loves us, he watches out for us; He guides us, only we are too obstinate to listen... And the result is: we loose.

This obstinate attitude mixed with pride was so obvious in that show. The woman and her husband were guilty and knew it, yet tried at the beginning to sort of put up the not guilty mask. But the human heart is kind and pure, all that was proved at the end of the show that pride sometimes leads us to argue in an irrational way; trying not to look bad gets us blind sometimes and drives us away from the truth.

Again, Oprah is immensely good at bringing out the good in people. She always had and has this loving yet straight way of confronting people. She tried through logic and discussion to convince people that they have erred, and that we all do, but it is never too late to go back and correct our mistakes.

At the beginning of the talk show Oprah asked the woman (who had a fake confident smile on her face unlike the man who did not look so comfortable) if she regrets what happened. The woman smiling strangely said yes I do. Oprah wanted a clear answer, so she asked again, which part do you regret exactly, the whole issue or the consequences. The woman replied: the consequences. Oprah still wanted her to clarify. The woman and her husband were taken to jail and their whole family went through lots of problems as a result. The woman said (trying to keep the brave not guilty mask on): I should not have developed the pictures. At that point I was like WHAT????!!! And the same went for Oprah and her audience.

Can you believe they actually took pictures of the stripper and their sons and guests! Problem is the stripper totally took her clothes off, and not only that she was actually rubbing her body against all the young men ages 14-16 and some older, but of course the birthday boy was the one with the most attention as he lay on the floor (pants unzipped!!!) with the stripper on top of him rubbing her ……!!!!! Worst of all through the discussion, the woman was defending herself saying she did not show her sons something they hadn't already seen!!!!

At that point I was shocked… totally bewildered by the statement! And that was when Oprah said that the problem is that nudity is not strange anymore…!

The man on the other hand had a somehow different attitude. I could tell from the beginning he was very regretful for what happened. He did not want them to get the stripper when he was asked at the beginning, but said he was under pressure from a bunch of teenagers and his wife! (Oprah, guests and myslef in shock!). And he also said that when the stripper started undressing he was shocked and stood from a distance because he did not expect that to happen …. OK WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DID HE DO TO STOP THIS MESS?????

That was when the subject of the inner voice was brought up…but he ignored it, he gave in to his weaker inner self… The mother said she walked out, she was not going to watch and she was not about to let her thirteen or fourteen year old daughter who was just about to come in the house to watch either. How come??? And why let your sons watch? Ok they might have seen this before, but why would any parent on earth be the one to initiate such a … I cannot find the words to describe this… I am not the only one who had that feeling. All of Oprah's audience at the studio and herself could not imagine "how a mother and father could do that". This was "The Most Bizarre" Birthday Gift I, Oprah, her audience have ever heard of.

The reason I brought this subject up was because as an Arab/Moslem, I have one question. Why are we always being attacked and called backward? Why are our societies always accused of being mean to women? Is this not mean? For a country to allow prostitution, for it to allow strip clubs, for it to allow the women to degrade themselves the way they are. All this leads to excess in sexual harassment, to arousing men's sexual instincts in a dirty and many times hurtful manner, to treat women and allow them to treat themselves as if they were mere cheap objects, more rates of rapes some accompanied by murder, for very young women to loose their virginity and get pregnant and then throw away their children not necessarily because they want to, but because they are not capable of taking care of them, or not responsible enough, or not ready, so many reasons.

In our countries, fear of God and shame protects women from doing such a thing and if they will do it, it will be a big deal. Not saying it does not happen, because it does, but the highest rates are mostly amongst the uneducated and unreligious people. We cannot have single mothers in our societies...not married that is, except in certain extreme conditions. Due to this fact, a woman fears for herself, for her image, she feels the responsibility and preciousness of her body… It is valuable and not for sale. She cannot go ahead and easily make herself cheap. And yes I mean "cheap". A woman must preserve her rights to have a decent life and to provide her children with dignity and rights, rights to having the minimum of a normal life. Even if problems should arise and divorce takes place "at least" the kids know who their father is and can at least get a minimum settlement of child support. Many a times the judicial systems are totally a mess in these issues (again because the Islamic Law does is not implemented), but the young ones will not live not knowing who their father or mother is. At least they know their families…etc…

You can go ahead and check out the details of that particular show here: http://www.oprah.com/tows/slide/200601/20060120/

slide_20060120_284_105.jhtml

If the above link does not work, go to http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200601/tows_past_200601.jhtml and check out in the archives and check show on date:
1/20/06
Former Child TV Star Reveals the Biggest Mistake of Her Life

Finally my prayer to Oprah Winfry, a Christian American worthy of respect: God Bless you Oprah for what you did, doing and I am sure will continue to do.