Persistence on anger management
One of the worst weaknesses in human traits is the inability to control anger. Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) warned people from loosing their temper in so many instances one of which he said:
ليس الشديد بالصرعة إنما الشديد الذي يملك نفسة عند الغضب
The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is one who controls himself in a fit of rage. (Riad al sale7een)
Sub7an Allah...
Bism Illah Al Rahman Al Rahim:
"Wama yantiko 3an il hawa (3) in how ila wa7youn you7a (4) 3alamaho shadeed oul Qouwa(5) Surat Al Najm.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
وما ينطق عن الهوى(3) إن هو إلا وحي يوحى(4) علمه شديد القوى
سورة النجم
Translation:
Nor does he say (aught) of his desire, It is no less than inspiration sent down to him, He was taught by One mighty in Power.
The remaining verses of this Sura are all speaking of Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) and what he said and did, clarifying to the people, non believers and believers that Prophet Muhammed does not speak off his own desires or wills (and honestly even if he did and those were his own teachings and desires, then he would still be worth following). Some people now a days do not believe any more in hadeeth, or simply try endlessly to find a reason not to abide to the teachings and sayings of Prophet Muhammed. When all he taught and inspired was directly coming from God Himself, and we are told that by god in the Holy Quraan.
Allah has created us and thereby knows of us more than we ourselves. Prophet Mohammed spoke of many things in compliment with the verses of the Holy Quraan. He covered every aspect of our lives (that is for those who reason). We are given the manual of leading our lives through the Quraan and Prophet Muhammed's practices which are summed up in the Hadeeth.
Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) also informed us that there are two things in this life that if we hang on to and abide to, we will never go astray. The Holy Quraan and the Sunna (His practices).
I just had to make this long introduction, because I can easily relate almost every thing to religion, to the Quraan and Sunna. Truly this is a religion of ease and peace. Especially peace of mind and heart when people really open their hearts and free themselves of useless obstinate thoughts that will lead them no where but trouble. God has in fact warned us from getting too attached to worldly needs, and did in fact tell us that they are a test. It is not that we weren't told, we were and we were also told that those of us who manage to have control over their desires shall be greatly rewarded with what no eye has seen and no ear has heard and no senses can even come near to reckoning. If we get weak, then we should not go and try to find reason to say that there is something wrong with the Quraan or even the Sunna. It is so obvious that many people when unable to abide to the rule try to find excuses and what is even more amusing is they manage to come up with the silliest excuses and tend to actually have convictions that they are Reasonable, educated well read people. Well, I'd rather be called ignorant than accept these silly unacceptable and unreasonable excuses being set forth within the minds of certain people in the Moslem communities. What is more and more amusing is when u get into a discussion about certain issues and you use Quraanic verses and hadeeth to tell them that they are wrong, they start getting all defensive and think or make themselves believe that you are actually doubting their faith.. Ok this part is also funny. What faith? Honestly if they are given verses straight from the Quraan and Hadeeth (Sa7ee7) and yet still manage to keep going on in an endless and pointless argument, just to prove them selves right, then where is the Faith? Where has it gone in the midst of all this?
The rage and anger tend to take over, mixed up with a pinch of arrogance, which makes an entire discussion go way out of line. Admitting to faults or misconception will not degrade people, on the contrary will elevate them especially in the view of the Creator, let alone people.
When I was younger I found it very difficult to admit to mistakes, but as I grew up, I learned that admitting is the first step towards proceeding to a better character and especially in our mizan (our balance of deeds, book that is). It is not by any means a sign of weakness, but rather great strength and persistence to be a better person.
Satan also has a role, we are also told that we can perform wuduu/ablution (the washing up Moslems perform prior to prayers, which includes washing of the hands, gargling the mouth, nose, face, arms till the elbows, wiping the hair and ears and feet till the ankles). A scientific research actually proved that the water neutralizes something through the skin which calms a person down. I wish I remembered what that something was exactly (excuse my bad memory).
But think of it, going to perform wuduu means walking away from the current situation and taking time to vent off. Of course the walking away itself has to include pardon, don't just walk away on someone without saying something otherwise the whole situation will flare up.
Saying a3outho Billah min alshaytan alrajeem (God I seek refuge from Satan), or just simply asking the other person to continue the discussion later after things can be discussed in an amicable manner with reason and decency.
So many solutions can be rendered. But anger never grants gain, it only results in pure and sometimes irrevocable loss and damage.
When and if people train themselves to be calm and to exchange differences in opinion without being hurtful or obstinate in their beliefs, I think then we will have fewer problems in life.
The problem is, people give in to their anger easily, and quickly react without a moment to reflect on the situation they are in. They give in to the whispers of Satan and their inner weak self. What I do know is that people can if they wish control this anger, it comes by practice; at least give it their best shot. But not trying at all and saying this is the way we are and tough luck is pure and utter nonsense. It is in fact a sign of weakness.
I think one can be strengthened by admitting fault and asking for pardon regardless of what others will think. Also trying to re-open subjects to find solutions (with decency) or compromises is a very healthy thing for human relations and for oneself as well.
Last but not least of course, the greatest gain of all is the pleasure of God.
Bism Illah Al Rahman Al Rahim:
"Wama yantiko 3an il hawa (3) in how ila wa7youn you7a (4) 3alamaho shadeed oul Qouwa(5) Surat Al Najm.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
وما ينطق عن الهوى(3) إن هو إلا وحي يوحى(4) علمه شديد القوى
سورة النجم
Translation:
Nor does he say (aught) of his desire, It is no less than inspiration sent down to him, He was taught by One mighty in Power.
The remaining verses of this Sura are all speaking of Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) and what he said and did, clarifying to the people, non believers and believers that Prophet Muhammed does not speak off his own desires or wills (and honestly even if he did and those were his own teachings and desires, then he would still be worth following). Some people now a days do not believe any more in hadeeth, or simply try endlessly to find a reason not to abide to the teachings and sayings of Prophet Muhammed. When all he taught and inspired was directly coming from God Himself, and we are told that by god in the Holy Quraan.
Allah has created us and thereby knows of us more than we ourselves. Prophet Mohammed spoke of many things in compliment with the verses of the Holy Quraan. He covered every aspect of our lives (that is for those who reason). We are given the manual of leading our lives through the Quraan and Prophet Muhammed's practices which are summed up in the Hadeeth.
Prophet Muhammed (Allahoma Saly 3aleih) also informed us that there are two things in this life that if we hang on to and abide to, we will never go astray. The Holy Quraan and the Sunna (His practices).
I just had to make this long introduction, because I can easily relate almost every thing to religion, to the Quraan and Sunna. Truly this is a religion of ease and peace. Especially peace of mind and heart when people really open their hearts and free themselves of useless obstinate thoughts that will lead them no where but trouble. God has in fact warned us from getting too attached to worldly needs, and did in fact tell us that they are a test. It is not that we weren't told, we were and we were also told that those of us who manage to have control over their desires shall be greatly rewarded with what no eye has seen and no ear has heard and no senses can even come near to reckoning. If we get weak, then we should not go and try to find reason to say that there is something wrong with the Quraan or even the Sunna. It is so obvious that many people when unable to abide to the rule try to find excuses and what is even more amusing is they manage to come up with the silliest excuses and tend to actually have convictions that they are Reasonable, educated well read people. Well, I'd rather be called ignorant than accept these silly unacceptable and unreasonable excuses being set forth within the minds of certain people in the Moslem communities. What is more and more amusing is when u get into a discussion about certain issues and you use Quraanic verses and hadeeth to tell them that they are wrong, they start getting all defensive and think or make themselves believe that you are actually doubting their faith.. Ok this part is also funny. What faith? Honestly if they are given verses straight from the Quraan and Hadeeth (Sa7ee7) and yet still manage to keep going on in an endless and pointless argument, just to prove them selves right, then where is the Faith? Where has it gone in the midst of all this?
The rage and anger tend to take over, mixed up with a pinch of arrogance, which makes an entire discussion go way out of line. Admitting to faults or misconception will not degrade people, on the contrary will elevate them especially in the view of the Creator, let alone people.
When I was younger I found it very difficult to admit to mistakes, but as I grew up, I learned that admitting is the first step towards proceeding to a better character and especially in our mizan (our balance of deeds, book that is). It is not by any means a sign of weakness, but rather great strength and persistence to be a better person.
Satan also has a role, we are also told that we can perform wuduu/ablution (the washing up Moslems perform prior to prayers, which includes washing of the hands, gargling the mouth, nose, face, arms till the elbows, wiping the hair and ears and feet till the ankles). A scientific research actually proved that the water neutralizes something through the skin which calms a person down. I wish I remembered what that something was exactly (excuse my bad memory).
But think of it, going to perform wuduu means walking away from the current situation and taking time to vent off. Of course the walking away itself has to include pardon, don't just walk away on someone without saying something otherwise the whole situation will flare up.
Saying a3outho Billah min alshaytan alrajeem (God I seek refuge from Satan), or just simply asking the other person to continue the discussion later after things can be discussed in an amicable manner with reason and decency.
So many solutions can be rendered. But anger never grants gain, it only results in pure and sometimes irrevocable loss and damage.
When and if people train themselves to be calm and to exchange differences in opinion without being hurtful or obstinate in their beliefs, I think then we will have fewer problems in life.
The problem is, people give in to their anger easily, and quickly react without a moment to reflect on the situation they are in. They give in to the whispers of Satan and their inner weak self. What I do know is that people can if they wish control this anger, it comes by practice; at least give it their best shot. But not trying at all and saying this is the way we are and tough luck is pure and utter nonsense. It is in fact a sign of weakness.
I think one can be strengthened by admitting fault and asking for pardon regardless of what others will think. Also trying to re-open subjects to find solutions (with decency) or compromises is a very healthy thing for human relations and for oneself as well.
Last but not least of course, the greatest gain of all is the pleasure of God.
posted by Dalulla at 9:51 PM
5 Comments:
so true dalulla, how many situations were blown out of proportion for the sake of blowing off some steam?
it is normal to get angry, that is what is inside, how it comes out is variable from a person to the other, and self restraint is the key.
when angry we hurt those close to us, and sometimes say things that we later wish that we never said. things that can make cracks in a relationship that are so hard to fix. washing your face is a very good idea.
Been talking about this issue with my mum lately ... how we shouldn't flare up and as Doshar said... "say things that we later wish that we never said. things that can make cracks in a relationship that are so hard to fix."
"The rage and anger tend to take over, mixed up with a pinch of arrogance, which makes an entire discussion go way out of line. Admitting to faults or misconception will not degrade people, on the contrary will elevate them especially in the view of the Creator, let alone people."
This relates a bit to what Doshar was talking about in her post "Brainwash" (http://doshar.blogspot.com/2005/08/brain-wash_112417109667773323.html)... when you let your Ego take hold of you...and that's partly why people end up screaming at each other instead of having a sensible, civilised discussion...
And God tells us that He loves those who can control their anger in Verse 134 Surat Al Imran:
"Those who spend ( of that which Allah hath given them) in ease and in adversity, those who control their wrath and are forgiving toward mankind; Allah loveth the good;"
"Allahoma eghfer lee thanbi wa ath-heb ghaitha qalbi wa ajerni min alshaitan"
Dallulla, i was thinking to make a post like that from a while , but as you did it
there are so many points touched me here, actually what you and doshar said also is true :
"when angry we hurt those close to us, and sometimes say things that we later wish that we never said. things that can make cracks in a relationship that are so hard to fix"
this is very true , i experienced that with myself , dad told me before that I may say to some one a word that can hurt up a relation for ever. We dont realize how a bad word can do a lot and a good word can do so many.
Thanks ya Me , on the prayer , mom told me about it before but i forgot it.
Last , want to add something about the anger management , and as Me stated that there is a verse in quran that states that God loves those who control their temper , but the remaining of the verse , and for those who forgive people.
Because you may control your anger but you still did not forgive the person till a day comes that you are totally angry and you make the worst reaction ever.
Dallula , i still want to write about that in my blog , if you dont mind
Great post. Inspirational.
Doshar,
thanks for your input! wonderful.. I really enjoy this, that we all have these positive and encouraging discussions.. Insha'Allah fruitful to us and to others i hope :-)
Ya Rora,
Ofcourse, feel free to write anything on your blog.. I haven't copy writed it, and what ever any of us can write to do good is good.
Me is so sweet, she always has a great input in comments, especially the duaa's she jots in. Jazaki Allaho khayran ya gameela ya D (Me).
Shirazi,,
Thanks, i hope it truely serves well to anyone who reads it, including myself. God knows, it has been working well with me to a great extent and that is why I posted it.
We should all really encourage ourelves and others of good traits. Allahoma Ij3alna min man yakoulan al qawl fay3maloun a7sanaho.. (Oh God, may we be able to apply whatever good we call and advise for).
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