Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Time flies

The past couple of months have been very hectic… Time flies by so fast. I have no time whatsoever to enjoy my blog visits.. I just want to apologize to all of u for not being around.

I hope I can catch up soon!

I had an ultrasound and so far things are fine… Al hamd Lillah. I was waiting impatiently for this check up… Every one is so keen to know what the baby’s sex is and me and his/her father are mainly concerned about the development. Oh well, baby did not feel like telling anyone what his/her gender is… was not clear my aunt says but she suspects it is a boy…

I still want the stress to lessen a bit… this morning was a terrible one for me. I was crying so hard I could not stop… My sweet son came running from the living room to my bedroom and kept telling me that he loves me and that I am his sweet heart, he asked why I was sad and crying… AL hamd lillah, he has a lovely heart, I wish he grows and stays like that
I want time to fly for me to see this baby………………….. I am falling asleep… I get tired very quickly now… have I made any sense? Nee

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Female brain.... male brain... (nice joke, but maybe not for guys!)

Brain Transplant

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will over the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brainyourselves.

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

Monday, June 12, 2006

Another dimension

I guess the physical effort is getting to me. I do believe the psychological pressure is also playing an important role, and definitely my anemia is doing a good job too! I am naturally anemic, but after I had my complete blood count test at the lab, I discovered it increased!

The other day, I totally collapsed… could not breathe, felt my brain and lungs were shrinking, could not lift my arms properly… my eyelids were getting heavy and each time they closed I felt I was stepping into a different dimension. It was hard and scary. Honey, olives, salty cheese, nothing did anything... for some time that is. After about fourty five minutes, I was able to sort of be in control of the dimension thingy!

Al hamd lillah. Was I dying? Was I going to die? Or is it just the extreme motherhood I feel towards Omar that makes me fear death now more than any time.

I do not want to live in this life for any pleasures.. Only watching for my son and taking care if him till he can depend on himself is all I ask God for …gladly too. I want this baby to be safe too. I do pray GOD helps me to physically and psychologically come through all of these efforts I have to make.

I am scared … very much, yes I am.